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Countdown to December...

The last week of November is when all the girls in Halifax go out and get boyfriends. That's pretty well established by now.

The first three weeks of December: traditionally, the worst time of the year to get any action in this city. The women are too preoccupied with new boyfriends, exams, xmas preparations and clinical depression.

Normally in December, I'll stay at home in my room and light a black candle and wait for the whole thing to blow over. (All that repression explodes the week of Dec. 26 - Jan. 1, which is the sexiest week of the year in Halifax.)

This year, though, I'm doing things a bit differently. I'm starting a club called the December Group.

December is a time of darkness and mystery. It has the longest nights of the year; perfect for "group activities" ...for those who are qualified for such things.

The goals of the December Group are: to watch, and to be watched; to control, and to be controlled; to please, and to be pleased.

I am looking forward to the best December ever.