"What are you smiling about?"
"What are you smiling about?" she said.
"Hm?" I said. "I didn't realize I was smiling."
"You're standing there, grinning from ear to ear," she said. "What's up?"
"Oh," I said. "I can't tell you."
"Come on."
"I don't know," I said. "No, there's no way..."
"Tell me! Look at you, whatever it is it must be something good."
"Ahh, I would never tell you, if I hadn't had a few drinks," I said. "I was just standing over there by the bar a minute ago..."
"...And?"
"A young lady came up to me and offered to buy me a drink and give me a blowjob."
"Well, it's no wonder you look so happy," she said. I was definitely grinning like a fool. I shook my head and walked away.
I ran into the same woman again a few minutes later.
"Listen," I said. "I'm kind of embarrassed about what I told you."
"Why's that?"
"Well, I don't know... It would be different if you were a guy. But you're a woman, and I don't really know you that well..."
"Don't worry about it," she said. "I don't like being treated differently like that."
"It's these hiphop nights," I said. "Whenever I work them, there's not much for me to do besides drink and get into trouble."
"Nothing wrong with trouble," she said. "Trouble is my middle name."
Hey, that's my line. "Actually, 'trouble' is my first name," I said. "I just go by Philip."
"Heh," she said.
"Anyways, I'd prefer it if you didn't tell anybody what I told you," I said. "I wouldn't want people to think I'm sleazy or something."
"No, that's cool, I won't tell anyone," she said.
I walked away thinking, Yep, she'll tell everybody.
I escaped the bar shortly afterwards. It was thirteen degrees Celsius in Halifax on Friday night. A beautiful night to be outside!