boner boots
I also worked in Hell's Kitchen on Sunday, December 1. Hopefully you all survived the Curse of Late November.
The Marquee was swarming with boner boots this past week. They were everywhere. Boner boots. Let me see, what other words start with the letters "bo"? "Bombshell"?
How about, "I want a BOYFRIEND."
The December Group suffered a couple of setbacks before December even began. I don't care. I'm still planning on taking Thursday December 19 off from work, even if I'm the only single person left in Halifax and the only "group activity" I get involved in is staying home with a big "group" of porno movies.
So. On Sunday night the men outnumbered the women in the bar by six to one. Someone joked that it looked like a gay bar in there. I assume that the ladies were all at home sizing up their new winter lovers. ("My god, what have I gotten myself into.")
A very beautiful woman walked into the bar and went and sat by herself. Now that's interesting, I thought.
One of the bouncers came up to me and pointed her out to me. He started talking about how he wished he had my courage when it came to women. (I wanted to explain to him that if you have to rely on courage, you are probably going about things the wrong way.)
He asked if I were planning on making a play for the solitary fox sitting across the room. He joked about how we could all lay bets, or maybe start some sort of pool.
I hadn't had time to collect any data on the woman in question, aside from the obvious factor of her physical attractiveness. So I just said, "We'll see."
Instant chemistry is a wonderful thing, but it's rare. More often than not, when I see a beautiful woman, I'll ignore her until and unless ignoring her is impossible. Or at least pretend to ignore her, while keeping my eyes open and trying to figure out what she's like and what she likes.
I watch how she deals with the creepy guys. They're never far away. In a bar, a good-looking woman sitting alone will often be approached by three or four creepy guys before I even get around to meeting her. I form judgments of women based on how they react in those situations.
(Part of the plan is that after she finishes talking to the creeps, I will seem very normal and charming by comparison.)
So the first of the creepy guys moved in on her. They chatted for a while. The bouncer came over to me and said, "Are you just biding your time or something?"
"Yep," I said.
Twenty minutes later, she put on her coat and left with Creepy Guy Number One. Imagine that!
I glanced over my shoulder to make sure they were actually leaving together. The bouncer came over and raised his eyebrows at me.
"Maybe they already knew each other," I said.
"Oh, I don't know..." he said. "It sounded like they were having a little 'get-to-know-you' talk."
I shrugged. Then I smiled. Whatever. The whole thing was kind of funny.
If she finds that guy sexy, chances are her and I would not have much in common anyway.
Ha ha ha.
Welcome to December.