The day before a man
The day before a man is supposed to get married, his mother-in-law to be calls him up and invites him over to her house.
The man walks in and finds his mother-in-law sitting on the couch wearing very revealing clothing. She takes his hand and pulls him down on the seat beside her.
"You are marrying my daughter tomorrow," she says. "I just want you to know that, after you are married, there will be no fooling around. But you're not married yet." She slides her arm around his shoulders. "I've seen the way you look at me. I know you like my body. Well, I've always found you to be very sexy." Then she stands up.
"I'm going upstairs now," she says. "If you would like to follow me up... I'm sure we could have a very nice time together."
The man watches her walk up the stairs. "My God, she's an attractive woman," he thinks. He gets up and starts pacing around and muttering to himself. "Jesus Christ! What the hell am I supposed to do."
Suddenly he bolts for the front door. He whips the door open, only to find the father-in-law standing on the front step, choked up with emotion.
The father-in-law seizes him and embraces him passionately. "You passed the test!" he says. "You are going to make a fine son-in-law, and a wonderful addition to the family."
...
Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car.