Conventional wisdom would suggest that
Conventional wisdom would suggest that in order you make yourself seem approachable in a bar you should smile, relax, try to appear friendly and confident.
Usually that's how it works. Wednesday night at the club I was in a very pissy mood. I would not assume this to be a sexy attitude. And yet, I spent a good portion of the night repelling people.
"Hi, I was wondering, do you know where there are any parties happening afterwards?"
"Yeah. [Point at random guy] His house."
At least drunk women are easily deterred.
"So! Are you the Sound Man?"
"Yes I am."
"Are you actually doing the sound right now? You look like you're just standing around."
"Do you... hear... music?"
"Oh excuse me."
Getting hit on by gay men is the worst; they're more persistent and they always come on with this concerned, "let's-be-friends" bullshit.
"Are you all right?"
"Pardon me?"
"You're just standing there by yourself, looking all closed off to everyone."
"Yeah... no shit."
It annoys me. Personally, I don't like to pester strangers unless I'm already getting a nice hot vibe from them.
On Wednesday, the more I scowled, the more likely it was that I would turn around and have someone standing there, right in my face: "Hi! What's your name? What are you thinking about?"
Oh, I was just thinking that there is nothing anyone in this club could possibly do tonight that would be hot enough to interest me; and I just want to go home.
It's almost like, your standards are so high, you're not even actually horny. Ever felt like that?
I wish this post had a happy ending.