The hot action guide to
The hot action guide to the arts.
Actors: I draw a distinction betweeen actors and thespians. Acting is an ancient and honourable profession, but if you're ever at a party and there's some guy standing in the middle of the room waving his arms around while everyone else sits and watches, then you know you are dealing with a thespian. Thespians probably get laid a lot but they tend to think they are on stage wherever they go. Next time we're gonna act out the scene where I punch you in the face.
Writers: I took a creative writing course in grad school but I dropped out to go on tour with a rock'n'roll band. I was expecting the class would be full of hard-drinking, brawling loudmouths but instead it turned out to be a bunch of uptight dorks who sat around all day saying things like "Sex is banal." Writers are neurotic because they'd all secretly love to be famous and they know they don't have a chance in hell. But even though writers are too cool for sex, I still like them better than actors because writers only try to have the undivided attention of one person at a time.
Painters are all about the sex. It's getting out of hand, really.
Sculptors: "I'm not interested in princesses," said Ti-Paolo with a smirk and went off to paw a third-year sculpture student.
--Ray Smith, Lord Nelson Tavern
Things tend to go to extremes with sculptors. You could be sitting around thinking "I want to meet a woman who's good with her hands" and next thing you know, you're hanging out with a third-year sculpture student in a pair of dirty overalls who just likes to slam.
On the other hand, I can't think of anything less sexy than a pottery class full of people who are all sitting around talking about "healing."
Performance artists: Two years ago, I met a performance artist who was actually hot so the jury's still out on this one.
Costume design is a relatively new field of study for me but jeeeeeesus. They're all so sexy I just had to mention it. Hello!
Music: Any woman who plays music is hot. Any woman who plays in a band is super-hot. Any woman who plays in a symphony probably never comes within ten clicks of this website.
Comments
i am in a band. i am hot.
but you know what? i was hot before i was in a band too.
i am also an artist. you may have forgot photographer in your little list.
p.s. i like sex.
Posted by: kelly | April 27, 2003 04:20 AM
A button I saw on some guys jacket in one of my classes: "writers do it with composure". Ha.
photographers are voyeurs.
Posted by: adrienne | April 27, 2003 11:23 AM
and designers?... shit... this may start a cat fight.
Posted by: pam | May 3, 2003 12:39 PM
Writers are not too cool for sex. Any one who says they are is only saying it because they're (a) not getting any or (b) full of illusions. That means their writing's probably not any good, either.
Posted by: Leah | September 23, 2003 10:36 PM
IP: 137.186.22.9
DATE: 04/27/2003 16:54:29
i'm trying to remember the last time i boned a photographer so i can write about what it was like. hmm. very sexy but slightly aloof and bit neurotic. that sounds about right.
i forgot dancers too. how could i have left out the dancers? dancers have beautiful bodies and i tend to fall in love with them at first sight.
note: "so, is it true you can put your ankles behind your neck?" is not an effective pickup line.
Posted by: phi. | November 5, 2003 12:34 AM
"But even though writers are too cool for sex, I still like them better than actors because writers only try to have the undivided attention of one person at a time."
hrmph.
Posted by: annabel | December 3, 2003 05:05 PM
hold it now!!!
actors are hot!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
!!!
!
Posted by: phi. | December 3, 2003 05:23 PM