hot action

Summertime in Halifax. I'm as horny as a damn dog and the air is hot with heartbreak.

Let's examine this assumption, that I'm a cold, calculating, love-em-and-leave-em type. Actually, it is far more common for women to leave me--they move away, or get boyfriends and settle down, or just decide that the dog's life is not for them. And yet I'll still want them as badly as I did on the night we met.

Last night at the club I noticed three different women that I'd had affairs with over the past few years. They were hanging out with their boyfriends and looking more beautiful than ever.

I can't stop thinking about the time I threw you up against the kitchen door, but it all gets boiled down to a single phrase: "Lovely to see you." People who are monogamous only get their hearts broken every couple of years. With me it's almost every night. I can hardly stand it.

I'm think I'm ready to be an old man now because I could sustain myself for the rest of my life on memories. I could put salt and pepper on my memories and eat them.

(The boyfriends, need I say it. Really nice guys.)

So I was sitting at the bar by myself after work, drinking a glass of water and thinking it all over. "I wonder what the future holds," I was thinking.

On cue, a cute face appeared beside me. She introduced herself and invited me to come over and sit with her. So I joined her at a table with her older sister and her older sister's date.

The mood around the table seemed to change subtly when everyone found out I was 32 instead of 23.

Does leaving the bar with the older sister count as a double scandal? I do love a good scandal.