hot action

Here's the hotaction FAQ. Consider this a work in progress.

"So what's the deal with the website?"
~ hotaction.ca is the online guide to sex with Philip Clark.

"Why do you write about your sex life on the Internet?"
~ I love having sex. I also love being single. This can be a tough combination in our society.

"I don't know you" is the most common reason women give for not wanting to have sex. I started this website so you can get to know me.

"Is it all true?"
~ Yes. A few times, I may have distorted details relating to time or place, to protect the not-so-innocent. Any conversation you read here is verbatim. I write assuming an audience of people who were actually present, and I strive for accuracy at all times.

"So does the blog actually help you get laid?"
~ There are three billion websites out there, and you're still reading this one. Interesting.

"Do you try to have sex with every woman you meet?"
~ Certainly not.

For me, being a slut means being in control of your own sexuality. That control includes recognising situations in which a flirtatious manner would be distracting or inappropriate. I'm sure there are women I've worked with professionally who would be utterly surprised to discover that I'm a sexual being.

"Do you ever turn down sex?"
~ All the time. I'm a bachelor first, and a slut second. The great thing about being single is that you can go home and get a good night's sleep, by yourself, anytime you want, and you don't have to explain anything to anyone.

"Has anyone's boyfriend ever tried to beat you up?"
~ Halifax boyfriends are all too nice. Besides, I only scope out women who want to be scoped out. It takes two to tango. What's he going to do, beat up both of us?

My disregard for other people's monogamous arrangements may seem ruthless. But I simply have no interest in playing according to the rules of a game I've rejected.

In any case, if you are truly happy and secure in your loving relationship, then you have nothing to fear from me.

"So all you care about is one night stands? I could never do that."
~ One night stands are not my main goal. For one thing, they usually take place at 5 in the morning, when I'm starting to get sleepy.

I'd much rather have sex in the middle of the afternoon or in the morning or the early evening. For this reason alone, I will always prefer the "torrid affair" situation.

Some of these affairs are long-term in their duration. I've noticed women like to alternate between having a nice-guy boyfriend for a while, and then having a wild affair or two for a while. I'm always happy to play a recurring role.

By the way, the worst thing you could ever do after reading this site is to accuse me of lacking emotional depth in my relationships with women. The focus here is usually on sex, but there's lots you don't get to read about, and I resent any attempt to assume limits to my emotions.

"Someday you're going to meet someone who spins your head right around. You are going to fall so deeply in love that you won't know which way is up."
~ I hear this one from a lot of my female friends. Apparently they like to cling to the romantic notion of the one ideal mate for everyone. I see little support for this concept outside of movies, pop songs and other fairy tales.

I can be equally and simultaneously attracted to two women who are complete opposites. How could I ever pick just one, and automatically rule out half of everything?

"How long do you think you can keep up this lifestyle? Do you expect to be fifty and still running around with 19-year-olds?"
~ Ten years ago, I could not have predicted what my life would be like today; so I won't try to predict that far into the future. I'm 32 and life seems to keep getting better. I'm looking forward to turning 40 and beyond.

I predict I'm going to make an awesome dirty old man.

"Do you practice safe sex?"
~ Religiously. I've learned to appreciate condoms. Unwrapping one is like opening a Xmas present.

"Do you have a physical type when it comes to women?"
~ Not really. Variety is the appeal of promiscuity.

"Please don't write about me on your website."
~ Okay.

"How come you didn't write about me on your website?"
~ I keep a lot of the really good stuff to myself.

"Aren't you going to turn a lot of people off with this project?"
~ I see that as a good thing. Better for women to find out in advance what I'm like, than for us to waste time "getting to know each other" while labouring under delusions and misguided impressions.

Turning women off is just as much a part of the hotaction project as turning them on. If you already know you don't like me, then you know to avoid me. It spares us both from future disappointment. That can only be a good thing.

"You must be pretty insecure to be so afraid of commitment."
~ Yes, I'm horribly insecure. Fortunately the royalty cheques from Trojan are a big help in paying the therapy bills.

"Are you an anal sex fiend?"
~ Any young woman who asks this question is to be viewed with deep suspicion.

"I could never sleep with lots of different people. My standards are too high."
~ Hmm. My standards are probably higher than those of someone who hardly ever gets laid. I'm in a position where I can afford to be choosy.

Getting in my pants is by no means automatic. I might make you work for it. I like women with a sense of humour; women who engage my mind. You might even have to know how to flirt.

"How do you pick up so many chicks? Can you teach me?"
~ I don't pick up women. I allow them to pick me up.

"I'm terrible with body language. I can never tell whether a woman is interested in me."
~ The skill most guys could stand to learn is to recognise when a woman isn't interested, and then to cut their losses and move on. Too many guys make the mistake of wasting their time getting fixated on a woman who's obviously going nowhere sexually.

I have developed a taste for high-level flirting, lovely proximity, physical contact, the hottest encounters. Maybe not everyone would agree, but for me, life's too short to try to create chemistry where none exists.

"I read your website. When I met you, you didn't look anything like what I expected."
~ I'm an ordinary guy. You were expecting maybe Fabio?

"You must have some kind of dirty disease."
~ Which one of your friends do you suppose I caught it from?

"Isn't the website idea kind of boastful?"
~ That isn't the point. (But if boastful turns you on, then yes.) The only thing I'm really boastful of is the fact that I'm horny. I'm sure many men could make a similar boast.

"You must've gotten burned really bad at some point."
~ No, I've just gradually come to realize that I prefer the single life.

I went out with a woman for three-and-a-half years, a long time ago. We were in love. It just sort of wound down. We had some great times. I'm happier now, though.

"No woman would want to have anything to do with you after reading all this."
~ Truthfully, no one's said this to me in over a year.

And the last woman to make this comment did, in fact, wind up getting her temperature taken.

[UPDATE: Nov. 20, 2003. Oh well.]

"How many women have you slept with?"
~ This week, two; your wife and your sister.

Everyone seems to be obsessed with the numbers. But I didn't study math in university. I studied poetry.

"So do women always wind up falling in love with you, at which point you callously toss them aside?"
~ It doesn't happen that way. The ladies are smart. They know what they're getting into.

"I read your website and I think it's really funny."
~ Thanks. If it's entertaining to read, that's a bonus. It sure is entertaining to write. And I'm not exactly complaining about all the research, either...

"I read your website and I don't believe you actually get that much action."
~ [shrug] Ask around.

"I read your website and it turns me on."
~ [Mr. Burns voice] Excellent.

"Are you into guys at all?"
~ Nah, just women. But I am seriously into women.

"Are you into bondage/sadism/rubber underwear etc.?"
~ People have accused me of being sexually "open-minded." But experimentation for its own sake is not a serious urge for me. I'm experienced enough by now that I can safely say I pretty much know what I like.

I enjoy being rough or dominant, but it varies with the situation. Occasionally I might have to handcuff a woman. But I don't think I've even seen a ball-gag in real life.

"I think you're interesting. I'd like to pick your brain sometime. Can we hang out and not have sex, but just sit down and have a drink and talk about stuff?"
~ Sure.

~ This is the part where you say, "Well, he's a jerk, but at least he's honest."

[EDIT Dec. 2004: I took this site down for six months in 2004 for personal reasons. If you don't know me well, please don't bring it up.]